From Cracking a Coconut to Fresh Coconut Ice Cream

The pictures of me hurling a coconut at a cement driveway are not included, but, to me, that is the true fun of making coconut ice cream from scratch–and I mean from scritch-scratch. This luscious ice cream is just sweet enough. The coconut milk makes it icy, so it melts in your mouth on contact. And, best of all, it packs all the flavor you can only get from fresh coconut milk.

*Spoiler alert* it’s not vegan! It does contain some heavy cream. But if you’re looking for a great vegan coconut ice cream recipe, there are THOUSANDS. Here are the two I’d recommend:

• Andy Ricker’s coconut ice cream recipe with jackfruit.
• Yotam Ottolenghi’s coconut ice cream recipe–this one uses aquafaba as a thickener and is no-churn.

Part one: how to crack a coconut

Feeling angry, frustrated, down-and-out, anxious, or annoyed? Then cracking a coconut might be just the catharsis you need.

• First and most importantly, always buy two coconuts. You never know if you’re going to get one that’s turned.
• Find the eyes. Yes, coconuts are like bowling balls, with three eyes like the holes for your fingers. Take an old fashioned wine opener (with the screw) and use it to, well, poke its eyes out. You might also want to use the “cutting” part of the opener to enlarge your holes just a bit.
• Then, like shaking hot sauce, shake the coconut water into a glass jar until it’s empty.
• Give the water a taste. Does it taste at all like soap? Nope? Okay you’re good. If it does taste like soap, then that’s bad news. It means that your coconut might be starting to turn bad. If anything, coconut water should taste neutral.
• Here’s the fun part: put the coconut into a paper bag and grab the top in a fist. With some sunglasses for eye-protection, hurl the coconut with all your might onto a concrete slab, like a driveway. Not to brag, but it only took me two hurls to get my coconut smashed in two. 😏
• With your coconut parted, take a butterknife, or another dull knife to pry the coconut flesh away from the tough outer peel. This part can be tricky.
• Finally, shred your coconut. I cut mine into chunks and fed it into a food processor. You can also use a hand grater or a high-speed blender. You may want to remove the thin, brown peel from the outside of your coconut, but I kept it on. Hey, it’s edible!

Part two: making coconut milk

Sadly, I haven’t made more than one recipe out of Tiffin: this coconut milk is it! It’s everything you need in a coconut milk–it’s creamy and it gives you a built-in method for determining how thick you want your milk.

• Measure your coconut. For every 2 cups of coconut shreds, you’ll use ¾ cup of water. You may choose to use the coconut water you’ve extracted instead of tap water.
• Add the coconut and water to a high-speed blender. Blend on high for about a minute.
• Pour the contents of your blender into a nut milk bag and squeeze your nut milk into a bowl. This is your first process. It will be a thick, creamy coconut cream.
• Then, go for a second process. Add the squeezed coconut flesh from your nut milk bag back into the blender along with an additional portion of water (whatever amount you added for the first process).
• Blend the water and coconut mixture for another minute.
• Again, empty your blender into the nut milk bag and squeeze the contents out to your heart’s delight. You should be left with a thick coconut milk.

Your coconut milk might separate along the way and that’s okay! You can actually scoop the hard layer off the top and make coconut whipped cream if that’s your style!

Part three: making coconut ice cream

Now let’s get to the good stuff!

It’s really so much simpler than everything else you just did!

• First, take 2 ½ cups of the coconut milk you just made. Yep, just about all of it. Fortunately ice cream is forgiving. If you end up with more or less, just adjust the sugar accordingly.
• Add the coconut milk, 1 cup of heavy cream, and ½ cup sugar to a small saucepan set over medium. As it gets hot, stir constantly.
• Just when the mixture starts steaming (don’t let it boil!) take out ¼ cup of the mixture and whisk it in a small bowl with 1 ½ tablespoons cornstarch.
• Add the cornstarch mixture back to the pan. Keep stirring and heat it just until the mixture coats the back of a spoon (and they mean the kind you use at dinner, not a silicone spatula designed to stick to nothing…I learned that the hard way).
• Remove from heat and stir in 1 teaspoon vanilla.
• Cool the mixture in the refrigerator overnight. And if you’re using an electric ice cream maker, don’t forget to freeze its bowl, too.
• Process as directed on your ice cream maker.

Enjoy the fruits (or should I say nuts?) of your labor!

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